Random Gratuitously Large Photo

I've always been into photography, and recently I acquired a job that pays more than 7.98 an hour. Since I have this job, I got into a little toy phase. I got a computer, car, and a new digital SLR camera. So here I shamelessly present a photo taken a few weeks ago on the pipeline (where else do I spend my time?). It was in the morning and this dude's wings hadn't dried out yet so he could fly away from really big scary guy getting in his face. I took advantage of the situation, and here you go. You know, on the very off chance that somebody finds this and thinks it's good enough to pay me for, well...sweet. I should add that despite what you see here, it is 3504 x 2336 pixels. For the lay, it can be printed in near perfect quality in a 16 x 20 photo or in good quality even larger...

White Admiral - Limenitis camilla

Scottish Games!

So there's a Scottish Games events in NY that I've been to a few times with the family. Looking for something to do, and not knowing it was going to be 95 degrees in Minnesota that day, Becky and I decided to try the MN Scottish Games out here. We mainly went to see the huge dudes compete in the heavy events (caber toss, 18lb stone throw, 56lb weight throw, etc). Becky brought along a coworker and her fiance, Crixell and Bob. Bob also threw in college, so they were interested in seeing the throwers too. When we got there they announced an open Haggis Hurling competition for the women. We were like, uh...OK. Whatever. Then they announced kids a little later, so we went to watch. Basically, you stand on half a whiskey keg and hurl this piece of meat as far as you can. The kids' is 1 pound, and the adults' is 1.5 pounds. Since the ladies had missed their competition and had nothing to lose, they bet the men to throw the haggis. So we did.


All you do is throw it, there's not really any technique or anything. The trick is staying on top of this whiskey keg without falling off during your follow through. If you do, they honk a horn at you. You only get one try. I'm a big dude, see pictures, so this was my biggest worry. That and what does this thing feel like. A haggis? What is a haggis? Well, traditionally a haggis is oatmeal, meat (or whatever kinds of animal insides are leftover - use your imagination), and spices, all ground and smashed into a sheep's stomach. There's more on history of haggis and haggis hurling at the Official Website of The Association for Scottish Haggis Hurling (apparently this is a big deal). We're throwing a frozen haggis wrapped up in plastic so it's about 8 inches long and 4 inches in diameter. I'm thinking is it wet, slippery, frozen solid, who knows? They had a bag of dry peat we could dip our hands into for grip (kinda like chalk, but not as effective). You also think about how to throw it. Overhand? Underhand? Like a discus? Like a football with a spiral? I was seriously considering the discus style, but a whiskey keg is not big enough to comfortably land on when I'd jump in the air (a reverse, for throwers).

Bob's turn comes and he hurls it out there overhand to 100' 11", good enough for 2nd at the time. My turn comes, and Bob gives me great advice to put your hand around the back of it for a flick at the end, more or less. So I pick up the thing and it's not wet or slippery, or even frozen for that matter. Kinda like spam in a plastic bag, but hefty. Anyways, from my throwing days I know to drive with the right leg as much as you can and move the haggis as fast as you can from behind you to the front. Also get good height on the haggis, so many people throw it harder than me but straight into the ground. My javelin throwers would've been proud. I threw through the point of the haggis!! Look at the picture.


Chest and eyes up, nice block, nice follow through (nice gut). 114' even!!! First place for the moment. The competition had a crowd of a hundred or so random people looking on, and I'd say there were 30 or 40 people who threw it. Now it was nearing the end of the day and the heavy events just finished up. So they announced the men's haggis throw to these dudes and they all came strutting over laughing at the 1.5 pound haggis (one of these guys just threw 56lbs over a 14' bar with one hand). Great. So over come all these huge dudes to kick my ass in haggis hurling. Well, as it turns out all these guys would make really nasty shot putters but really bad javelin throwers (not that I would make a good jav thrower) and they all pretty much gunned the thing straight into the ground too, all around 100 feet. All of them easily had enough power to destroy my throw, but they all sucked it up! One dude threw 110, which was a worry for me while the measured it. But then all the big guys finished up, and it was over! I WON!! This is now the blog of the First Annual Minnesota Scottish Fair and Highland Games Haggis Hurling Champion!! Since it was the first annual competition, I'm the record holder. Apparently the North American record was 120' which was recently broken with a 140'. I found out the world record is 180' set 20 years ago. I think I did fairly well for myself, but get any strong baseball player or jav thrower up there and my record won't stand a chance. Who knows, maybe I'll practice in the off season and come back to defend it next year! But for now, I'm content. I won a can of sirloin haggis, a huge can of single malt whiskey cake, and a 3XL (rather than the other option - medium) t-shirt seen below. I wear it proudly.

Photoshop Master!

Oh look, I have a header graphic! So I took the picture of the loon from a random lakeshore that I was delineating in Pequot Lakes, MN, played with it a little in photoshop, slapped a cool lookin title on there (much more fun with PS), grabbed a Dave Matthews lyric and a new font from 1001freefonts.com and eureka! a header. I also stole some of my sister's HTML from her blog to get it to fit right, so thanks Sarah. :-) So after a few wasted hours, I'm off to bed.

Little Freakin' Insects (and other annoying creepy crawly things)

So today we were pipelining again. Yesterday was about 93 degrees, today was supposed to be hotter. Turns out it wasn't, but what was the killer were the damn bugs. So, I've decided to give the lowdown on nasty critters I deal with on a daily basis. Most of these guys (deerflies and mosquitos) tend to prefer moist or wet areas. Unfortunately, since these are the very things I get paid to look for, sucks to be me. Today, the deerflies were the worst, so we'll start there....

Tabanidae.The horsefly and deerfly family. Today brought new meaning to the awfulness of deerflies. My shoulders are sore today from swatting deerflies on my head and forearms. So we were out in the field for 9 hours. I don't remember a period of more than 2 minutes when I wasn't swatting at a deerfly. I became pretty proficient with the swat and rub technique because deerflies have this thing about getting hit really hard and falling off, only to regain consciousness (or whatever they have) half way to the ground and fly away again. The swat and rub allows for maximum friction and deerfly death. I'd say at least, AT LEAST I was swatting and killing 2-4 deerflies a minute. At least. Sometimes I would swat one on my head, pull it off to kill it (the squish till they pop technique) and another one would land on my hand at the same time! Stupid flies! So kill that one too. So....2 flies per minute times 60 minutes in an hour times 9 hours....I'll let you do the math. The answer: depressing. Let me tell you something else about deerflies. When they land they don't inject a sucker or something like mosquitos do. No, they use their saw like mouth parts to slice a gash in your skin and then lick up the blood pool that forms. Then they bounce (or die). So instead of secretion infested bumps, I ended up with hundreds of little tiny slices and bruises. Not sure which is worse...While I was walking I was thinking that a fantastic way to torture somebody would be to handcuff them and make them walk into a room full of deerflies and mosquitos so they can't swat them. I'm cruel...

How about mosquitos? Well, there were those too. Not as bad as deerflies though. I recall one particular incident, feeling a mosquito land on my forearm. As I looked to see it and swat it, and thought, "Hmm...it looks like a mosquito. I've never seen a mosquito with a red abdomen before." Of course, as this thought is occurring the "oh look a mosquito KILL IT" reaction is also occurring. So I do. And the little fucker juices out in, no lie, a puddle of something's blood no smaller than the size of a dime. And we're not talking smeared blood. I meant puddle when I wrote it. Ugh....

How about ticks? Those too. I figured out to wear those zipoff pants. Not for style, or even practicallity as they're supposed to be used. I've come to call the zipper joint and cloth covering there "Tick Traps". Ticks crawl up your pants and then get stuck there, and only once in a while do they get higher. Then, at the end of the day, you check your tick traps and dispose of any ticks you find. It's tricky, because once you flip up the tick traps, the ticks are no longer fooled and then proceed to all crawl up your thighs at once. Once they get to your upper body your chances of finding them unattached lessen significantly. I liken it to the old windows game where you are a little city and missiles are all coming down on you at once, and you have to shoot them out of the air before they flow up your little city. Anyways, the squish till they pop technique is much harder with ticks. They tend to be very resilient little fuckers. Today I probably pulled 20 off both legs, which is unusually high. But these guys always find a way to come back if you don't kill them so popping and seeing ooze is necessary. The worst is when you're driving and you find one. You have to pull it off, kill it, and then get it out the window without crashing. It must be killed because if you only put it out the window then it may blow back into the truck and now you don't know where it is. It'll only come get you later, and you might not feel it next time. I learn from experience. Afterwards you get the creepy crawlies (especially in bed that night) where you start feeling ticks crawling all over your body but then you look and nothing's there. Awful.

My hands and forearms are in a perpetual state of numbness from all the bites. It's this weird kind of feeling where they don't itch persay, but are all at the same time. So yeah, today was a good day. Deer flies from hell. Oh yeah I also got stung by something nasty (didn't see what, the hit, rub, and throw instinct was too quick cause this one really hurt) on the back of the neck. Now it's kinda big and puffy. I also got dehydrated even though I drank 4 liters of gatorate and a gallon of water. I also got cut on the finger by a sedge leaf. Which sedge? Who knows, there are over 200 of them. But it was sharp. And it cut me in like 3 places. Paper cut like, so now it stings. It would also sting when I'd try to swat the flies off my sweaty head and salt from sweat nastiness would get in it. I'm going to stop typing now...

Wings by the Pound and Trivia!

So I'm back on the pipeline this week in Baxter, MN, working and also continuing the northern Minnesota dinner tour. Deric (partner in pipeline crime) and I went to this place called Grizzly's Bar and Grille on Monday night. They had a beer glass special where you pay 3.75 and get a 16 oz beer along with a Grizzly's Bar and Grille beer glass! Then each additional drink you get is 1.75. This is what it's like to drink in Baxter, MN. Cheap! Anyways while we were sitting there we were looking at the weekly specials. Tuesday was buy one burger, get one free (seems to be a theme here - The Uptown restaurant in Wadena also has this deal. I mean we're talking half pound burger and fries here, a whole plate not just a little burger. The Uptown also has all you can eat ribs on Tuesdays which, I might add, is amazing...they also taste good.) Anyways Wednesday night was the wing special. You get 2 pounds of wings and 60 oz of beer for 10.99. Only in northern MN. When a deal like this comes up, you take it. So tonight we went back to Grizzly's and ordered. Our waitress was a little confused at first, assuming that we'd split 2 lbs of wings. No, no....each. And the pitchers of beer? Each...but we shared as to not have a pitcher at the table for both of us. Now let me tell you, 2 pounds of meat is a lot. I probably had 24 wings. But these are not normal wings, no. These are probably twice the size of a regular "let's go out for wings" wing. Huge. I almost prefer them because you can eat them easier and while only paying half attention. Why was I only paying half attention? Because I was playing Buzztime!!


I'm sure you've all been to a bar and grille before where they have those trivia games that you follow along with on a TV. They ask a question and then the timer starts for you to buzz in on your own little pad which you have at your table and answer. The faster you get it, the more points you get. As time passes, they give clues and eventually pretty much flat out give the answer. There are 15 questions. The points start at 1,000 if you get it in the first 5 seconds or so. By the 3rd clue, the dead give away clue, the points are like 280 or so if you've got quick fingers on your keypad. So what do two nerdy biologist do when they're getting paid to eat wings and drink beer? Play trivia. So the first game we play was a Topix game, all questions relate to one particular topic. In this case, Famous Artists. Awesome. Why don't we ever get a "plants" category? Anyways, turns out Deric's dad was an art teacher for a while and he got guilted into taking an art appreciation class in college. He rocked on that one. My input was that I put two and two together and assumed Van Gogh died by committing suidice because he was crazy enough to cut off his own ear. Barely broke 8,000. The next one was also Topix, Science Fiction. Sweet! Star Wars, Star Trek, maybe some Asimov in there...should be good for both of us. Well. Not quite. We got like 5,000 points. Movies and TV series from the 1950's that were cancelled after one season. Sure...we know that. Ugly. Anyways, the next game was just random trivia and, as it turns out, our time to shine. We got the first 5 right for 1,000 each. Amazing start! Then we dropped to 986 or something. Quick hands, Deric! Then 999. We end up with 14,202 out of 15,000!! Of course since this thing is all networked, they show you how you did out of everybody playing at that time. Out of 12,000+ teams playing in the country, we got 10TH!!! 10TH!!! That's the top 0.1%!! Sweet! Anyways, we felt good about ourselves so we left on a high note. I'll admit though, that we'd have gotten 4th if I knew that it was Catherine Zeta Jones who won best supporting actress for Chicago and not Renee Zellweger. Damn!! We also have the top establishment record for the month. So if anybody reading this wants to best us, go to Grizzly's in Baxter, MN before July ends and beat 'Bryan'. (Deric decided our team name, not me). Now I'll go shrink into my bed and go from trivia king to oil pipeline peon tomorrow...

Happy 4th

Happy 4th of July. To celebrate my girlfriend, Becky, and I went to see Dave Matthews Band on Sunday at the Alpine Valley Music Theatre in East Troy, Wi. It's about a 5 hour drive or so from St Paul, but well worth it. Even the 2 and a half hour wait to get out of the horribly organized parking lot after the show was worth it. This picture is actually from last year's concert (which we went to as well).

If you read about the concert people say that the setlist was awesome (it was). You can go here for the setlist. Actually, if you want to, you can even download the concert (it's legal, Dave's cool like that)...It's a torrent in FLAC, a lossless file format, but you can play it in WinAmp if you download the right plugin. The show is about a gig, and I'm not about to become tech support for FLAC or for torrents, so please try to figure it out on your own. Start with reading about it. Not like anybody will read this and actually want to download the concert, but it was pretty kickass so just in case...

Random thought of the day: Maybe I'll come up with a little graphic or something for each random thought of the day that I post. Oh, just FYI they won't be everyday. Thought of the day sounds good, and I won't make it thought of the week so I can give myself room to put up more than 1 a week. Anyways, here's today's. Avoid wild parsnip. (Pastinaca sativa) It's this nasty plant that has juices that cause photodermatitis. If you cut these guys down in the dark and got the juices all over you nothing would happen...until you went in the sun. Basically the chemicals make your skin less resistant to UV rays, so you get a really nasty 2nd degree sunburn wherever the juices got you. Though instead of being tanned after it goes away, mine looks like it's going to turn into a pretty nasty scar (cool!), so I don't suggust dousing yourself in it for a quick solution to pasty whiteness. In my particular case, I thought I had a mosquito bite under my watch band, so I didn't wear it it for a few days. Two days later I got a sweet lookin blister bubbling up, and it felt like a burn, which clued me into the parsnip. Don't even remember touching it. But anyways, avoid it if you can. Longwinded thought....